Will keep him busy. If I can't, I'll set someone else on watch. Either way, I'll assume you're down there and keep him away.
[Underneath there's a lot of scratching out, where they've debated about writing something, and then tried to figure out exactly what to say and how to phrase it, before finally:]
If you think it's necessary, put my name down somewhere for Deela as a call of last resort, and I'll grab one of the other two to keep you occupied if it comes to that. Protecting the Veil's important, but not as important as making sure that people don't get hurt. [Which includes Lilith and Deela. Rowan knows all too well how much the idea of hurting Lucas hurt them when they frenzied in front of him, they don't want Lilith to have to deal with that as well, or worse, having actually hurt Deela.]
I will, and if she doesn't need to access it, I'll see to its destruction. Thank you for that. I don't want her to stay with me because of the danger, but she doesn't want to leave me alone and understands the danger. It sucks. I hate my father so much.
I get it. The danger bit. I asked the fae to take away my ability to frenzy after I did in front of Lucas. Never want to do that again. I don't know if that's an option for you or not? I know things work differently for you.
[They do now realise that they never realised that her claustrophobia had a particular trigger, and they feel like they let her down a bit last year, not looking into it more. But with things tense between them still, they don't want to push for more information, as much as they are curious to know more. Maybe if they can survive halloween, there'll be a chance that they can start to reconnect a bit.]
I don't fall prey to my werewolf nature like Garou do. My claustrophobia has nothing to do with Timber; it's all me.
And while I could ask the talking tree to remove my fear, I've seen what people without fear do. Fear is necessary. And it's my phobia. I'm the one that has to overcome it.
That's fair. I thought it might be triggering something else, but asking the fae to faff around with emotions feels like it's asking for trouble, on top of everything else. [It's bad enough that they remove abilities without asking, Rowan doesn't want to get them started on anything else.]
Good to know though, it'll change what I'll tell Ren or Silent if it comes to that (and I hope it doesn't).
No, I just know if the terror sets in, I'll transform to protect myself and Timber can break through just about anything in my path to fresh air.
Unfortunately, Timber will not be in control; it'll still be me. What happened in the past when it was Timber and not me? Extremely rare. My will is too strong, even when freaking out.
Okay. Can I let the other two know in advance, so I don't have to explain to them if I have to call them in? I think Timber's probably stronger than me, but the other two are ridiculously strong.
And I'll do that then. [They're not sure how they could explain claustrophobia to Silent anyway, so they have some time now to figure out exactly what they'll say to the other two if the worst happens and they do have to call them in.] It's all back up anyway, fingers crossed we won't need it and you and Deela've got this.
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Will keep him busy. If I can't, I'll set someone else on watch. Either way, I'll assume you're down there and keep him away.
[Underneath there's a lot of scratching out, where they've debated about writing something, and then tried to figure out exactly what to say and how to phrase it, before finally:]
If you think it's necessary, put my name down somewhere for Deela as a call of last resort, and I'll grab one of the other two to keep you occupied if it comes to that. Protecting the Veil's important, but not as important as making sure that people don't get hurt. [Which includes Lilith and Deela. Rowan knows all too well how much the idea of hurting Lucas hurt them when they frenzied in front of him, they don't want Lilith to have to deal with that as well, or worse, having actually hurt Deela.]
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[They do now realise that they never realised that her claustrophobia had a particular trigger, and they feel like they let her down a bit last year, not looking into it more. But with things tense between them still, they don't want to push for more information, as much as they are curious to know more. Maybe if they can survive halloween, there'll be a chance that they can start to reconnect a bit.]
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And while I could ask the talking tree to remove my fear, I've seen what people without fear do. Fear is necessary. And it's my phobia. I'm the one that has to overcome it.
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Good to know though, it'll change what I'll tell Ren or Silent if it comes to that (and I hope it doesn't).
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Unfortunately, Timber will not be in control; it'll still be me. What happened in the past when it was Timber and not me? Extremely rare. My will is too strong, even when freaking out.
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I'd rather you not give specifics regarding my claustrophobia, but if you need to put them on call, that's fine.
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And I'll do that then. [They're not sure how they could explain claustrophobia to Silent anyway, so they have some time now to figure out exactly what they'll say to the other two if the worst happens and they do have to call them in.] It's all back up anyway, fingers crossed we won't need it and you and Deela've got this.
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And I appreciate you checking in with me on this re: Samhain. It means a lot. I'll talk to you later.
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